Ameropeans and Other Strange Breeds

The longer Writer Abroad lives in Europe, the more Ameropean she becomes. Ameropeans are a unique breed of Americans that can see the United States from a distinctive viewpoint. For example, even though Ameropeans are Americans, upon visiting the USA, Ameropeans realize they are different. Here's why:

Ameropeans in America:

1. Do a double take when they realize they can understand conversations around them.
2. Order a small Coke and exclaim that it's way too big.
3. Suck on ice. It's so good.
4. Complain that both American coffee and American beer is watery.
5. Confuse the first and second floor at a department store.
6. Forget that tax is not included.
7. Forgo attending a writing conference because it's not easily accessible by public transport.
8. Get depressed in restaurants that don't have any windows.
9. Get depressed in restaurants that do have windows but have views of parking lots.
10. Freeze in air conditioning.
11. Rail against stores that are wasting energy by blasting A/C and leaving their doors open.
12. Dress up to go to the grocery store. Then regret it when Americans in sweats stare at them.
13. Notice how fat people are.
14. Wonder what the waitress is so happy about.
15. Wonder what everyone is so happy about.
16. Then realize it must be the root beer floats.
17. Feel overwhelmed by choice.
18. Feel overwhelmed by fast food.
19. Feel overwhelmed by white socks.
20. Feel overwhelmed that they will never be normal again.

Are you an Ameropean? Or Amersian? Or something else equally strange?